Dear Family, Since news about me has been circulating for months now, maybe even years, who knows. I am writing to clarify for myself and to you: I am not going to have children. *Gasp* It is surprising, yes that an Indian woman is choosing not to have children, but it is true. I am … More The No that Showed Me Yes
It happened a month ago, when I visited a new mom friend. I love visiting my friend’s babies when they are just born, it is a lovely, cuddly experience and in the past, I’d always imagined holding my own when I held theirs, had dreamt about how I would feel post birth holding my child. … More 13 Reasons Why
Last week a friend reminded me that I am not a mother and she is. Initially, it stung, sending me into a spiral of I’ll-never-be-good-enough’s and I’ll-always-be-looked-at-differently-by-mothers, including my own. While all these thoughts were churning, way in a tiny, dark corner of this same mind was a larger idea brewing: would I ever be … More Different but Equal
It’s Four O’clock here, the day your dream comes to fruition. It’s four o’clock here, I envision you cradling him in your arms, wrapped up like a burrito and I see her: twenty-six, khakis, yellow t-shirt, black flats she stands in the doorway looking at the class library, the one she spent her own money … More Sharp Curve
I am supposed to not care or not be bothered by it, but I am. I am supposed to be able to balance work and motherhood with such ease that all the species on the earth look to me for advice, but it’s not like that at all. I am supposed to. I am … More Good Little Girl
“March of 2014,” I told my Rheumatologist last Autumn at my 6 month check-in. “Okay, let’s get your blood work done today; I’m going to check your thyroid functions. Have you been taking prenatal vitamins?” “Uh, no. I mean, I’m giving you a date, but I’m still so unsure,” I replied unable to make eye … More That Made All the Difference
Two years after we moved to America, my genius brother debuted on PBS on the Science Bowl (a quiz show about science). The host interviewed him mid-game and asked him what he wanted to be when he grew and he said completely sure of it, “I want to be an astronaut.” (add a really thick … More What is–I don’t know.