13 Reasons Why

It happened a month ago, when I visited a new mom friend. I love visiting my friend’s babies when they are just born, it is a lovely, cuddly experience and in the past, I’d always imagined holding my own when I held theirs, had dreamt about how I would feel post birth holding my child. … More 13 Reasons Why

Different but Equal

Last week a friend reminded me that I am not a mother and she is. Initially, it stung, sending me into a spiral of I’ll-never-be-good-enough’s and I’ll-always-be-looked-at-differently-by-mothers, including my own. While all these thoughts were churning, way in a tiny, dark corner of this same mind was a larger idea brewing: would I ever be … More Different but Equal

Sharp Curve

It’s Four O’clock here,  the day your dream comes to fruition. It’s four o’clock here, I envision you cradling him in your arms, wrapped up like a burrito and I see her: twenty-six, khakis, yellow t-shirt, black flats she stands in the doorway looking at the class library, the one she spent her own money … More Sharp Curve

Good Little Girl

I am supposed to not care or not be bothered by it, but I am.  I am supposed to be able to balance work and motherhood with such ease that all the species on the earth look to me for advice, but it’s not like that at all.   I am supposed to.  I am … More Good Little Girl