The Hard Release

Walking through a field of sinking sand
I push hard for clarity
it doesn’t matter
those words don’t matter
I will not let them attach to my body
Weighted feet remind me of what’s behind me and what’s ahead
dodging bombs on a minefield, I move forward—
the only direction I know about
Hardened muscles–sore
pull me slowly
painfully
reminding me with each step
that I can,
I should
drop it all
It’s not mine to carry
and yet, I didn’t, I don’t know
how to completely detach myself
Turmoil festers inside
growing into a large tumor
spreading it’s wings into every cell
of my DNA
spiraling through my insides
happily damaging through and through
back against the earth
I look up into the eyes of the sun
warmth creeps into the first layer
lightening it
releasing a piece of hard
reminding me to let go
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